Life with the Babe

Tomorrow little Jones will be two weeks old, and I can categorically say that it has been the best/hardest/longest/shortest two weeks of my life! I give him a million kisses every day.

Some details from the last couple of weeks:
- Breastfeeding has been really freaking hard! There was a lot of crying and a few punches thrown into the headboard of the bed. At one point I an absolutely convinced that if there had been any formula in the house, Jones would now be bottle fed. I was so ready to give up, but things have been going better so let's hope it keeps up! (Shout out to my chiropractor, Dr. John Sorenson at Advanced Care Chiropractic - his adjustments are what have done the trick in helping with breastfeeding!)
- Alex is THE BEST EVER. He has been so supportive (even when I'm sobbing while breastfeeding and he has no idea what to say), so helpful, and is already the best papa I could ever imagine for our little man. It has blown me away how much more in love with him I am - I didn't even think that was possible. The few times I have become totally overwhelmed, Alex has jumped in without hesitation to help and I love that he doesn't freak out when the baby cries. He doesn't just hand him back or panic, he just snuggles with him and calms him down. Best.
- The baby blues SUCKED, but I have been pretty great these last few days so I'm pretty sure they're all gone - hooray! I can only imagine what post partum depression must be like, and I am incredibly sympathetic to those who suffer with it. 10 days of baby blues was the most I could handle.
- We have been asked a lot where the name came from and, honestly, I don't know! I just remember texting Alex a few months ago asking if he liked Jones and he said yes so I put it on the list! Then when he was here he just looked like Jones to me. We had a couple others in the running, but Jones just fits his cool personality. Maxwell comes from Alex's brother.
- I have been so grateful to amazing friends and family for help, support and love. We are incredibly blessed!

These little feet slay me every day. They are adorable. 

Jones Maxwell Theobald

The Birth Story of Jonesy!

         Monday night/Tuesday morning (May 28th) I woke up at 3 am to my water breaking – a slow leak that continued for a couple of hours. Contractions started immediately but were spaced apart and not too intense. I tried to sleep but was too jazzed up so I couldn’t for a couple of hours. I told Alex to go to work because my labor was still pretty mild and didn’t want him to meaninglessly miss a day, especially since we wanted him to take a week off after the baby came. I labored throughout the day, but was able to take care of some things. I bought a baby swing and took Otis to the park for a walk at the park, where I had to stop several times because the contractions were pretty hard. Alex got home from work and in the early evening the contractions started getting more intense and closer together. I had been timing them for most of the day (on a handy-dandy app on my phone) and they were now averaging under 5 minutes apart, usually closer to 3 minutes, and I was having to breathe through them. All I wanted to eat was some tortilla soup from Café Rio so we headed over there but on the way I realized it was a bad idea because my contractions were becoming really uncomfortable. Alex ran in and grabbed the food and we came home to eat. I couldn’t eat much and this is kind of the time I have in my mind for when I thought, “ok, we’re going to have a baby tonight”.

            For the next several hours I labored pretty hard but with my water having broken, we wanted to wait as long as possible for the first vaginal exam due to risk of infection. My midwife said that once she did the first exam, we had 12 hours until the baby had to come out. I felt like I had labored pretty hard for several hours so at 11:30 pm she checked me: baby was still high, only 3 cm, 50% effaced. That was SO disheartening and I cried at the lack of progress I had made. I continued to labor, even more intensely, over the next several hours. (My midwife later described this time as “brutal labor” to the doctor, which was incredibly validating!) The contractions were so hard and I felt that for sure I was making amazing progress: I was picturing my baby moving down, my cervix opening. I labored backwards on the toilet for a while and that was one of my favorite positions. If I was not on the toilet I almost always wanted to squat through a contraction, and I felt like it helped me picture the baby coming down and out. Alex was beyond amazing through this whole process. He pushed on my back, supported me while I was squatting, held me and talked me through what I needed to do. Labor was so intimate for us and we kissed often, though we were both exhausted.

            My two sisters and sister-in-law were also there and they were an amazing support to me. My sister-in-law has studied massage therapy and she did some fantastic work on my back and showed Alex what to do as well. I was incredibly grateful for her and my sisters – it was comforting to be there with women who had done this before and knew what I was going through.

            I’m not sure the exact time, but somewhere around 2 or 3 my midwife got called on another birth - #11 for the woman, so it would be incredibly fast and she would be back within a few hours, even though she had to drive to Cedar City. I felt comfortable with her leaving because my sister has delivered babies before so if it came to that, we could handle it. And secretly I hoped it would come to that. Before she left I was checked again and I was at 4cm and 70%. I wanted more, but let myself bask in the progress and kept a positive attitude. By now I had been laboring for 24 hours and had gotten only a few hours of sleep during that time, so everyone suggested we try to get some sleep. We laid down and slept for maybe an hour. The contractions were still hard but they got a little farther apart. When I worried they were getting too far apart I made myself get out of bed and went to the bathtub, where they slowed even more. So I got out and walked around the whole house, willing them to come back. But much to my dismay, they slowed even more, and became so mild I could talk through them. I chatted with my sister about what to do and all the while felt incredibly calm about the decision I was about to make.

            My midwife returned and checked me again and I had made no progress at all. By this point it was about 6 hours since the first exam and I had been in labor for about 27 hours. I was exhausted, Alex was exhausted, my body was done. I felt that if we didn’t go to the hospital and just tried to ride it out that I would wait too long, get too exhausted and would have to have a c-section because of the length of time since the water had broken. I asked everyone to give Alex and me some time to discuss our decision, and we cried together as we decided that we needed to go to the hospital. I said to him that I was disappointed I would not have the birth I have always dreamed of, but we were getting the baby boy we had dreamed of, and that was what was most important. We were both incredibly calm about it, knowing that it was the right choice for us.  

            We got to the hospital and went through a good hour of processing and the doctor telling us our options and such. During which I wanted to yell: blah, blah, just give me the Pitocin and epidural, we’ve already made our decision! I think around 7 or 8 we finally got going on the Pitocin and got the epidural. One of the worst parts about the whole labor: the stinging from the numbing stuff for the epidural! Gosh, that was painful. Alex was facing the anesthesiologist as he did all his work, holding me, and I almost had to ask him to close his eyes because his energy was so anxious as he watched all the big ol’ needles going into me! It was a very different experience than laboring naturally at home, where I felt nothing but peace, calm and support from him. From there we were able to sleep for a couple of hours and I got a break from the pain. I wasn’t a fan of not being able to move my legs, especially after being so mobile while laboring at home. I also HATED all the stuff that was attached to me! IV, two monitors on my tummy that were itchy, THREE plastic bracelets on my wrist (THREE?!) and, worst of all: the dreaded blood pressure cuff. I hated that thing so much.

            The doctor and nurse weren’t super happy with my labor pattern, but I had progressed to a 5 when they checked me first. When I woke up my sister suggested I watch the monitor and start breathing through the contractions as if I could feel them. I think that really helped move my labor along. Also the doctor’s last visit before I got rocking and rolling was a catalyst because I could see the “we might have to do a c-section if you don’t start progressing soon” in his eyes.

            Pretty soon I was at a 6, then 7. The nurse gave me surprised eyes when she checked me and I was progressing so quickly, probably because my contractions were still not super regular. By now I had started to feel the epidural wearing off, and I pushed the button to increase the drugs a few times, but it didn’t seem to help. And I’m glad, because that made me decide that I was getting close enough that I wanted it to wear off.  One of my biggest concerns about epidurals has always been that they take the control away from me because I can’t feel what my body is doing, so I’m super glad that the epidural had worn off almost completely by the time I was pushing – it allowed me to have some semblance of the natural birth that I wanted.  

           

            Not long after that I went through transition. Mostly what I remember is ferociously tearing the blood pressure cuff from my arm, swearing a good few times and sobbing uncontrollably at least twice.

I was at a 9 (maybe he even said 9 ½) and he said he would come back in a little while and check. My midwife came to my bedside and said “you can push yourself to a 10”. So I did – I gave little pushes with each contraction and visualized my baby coming down and my cervix opening. I was pretty exhausted at this point, but determined to not have a c-section, so I kept going. The nurses changed almost exactly at the time I was ready to push, but I’m grateful because the sweet nurse who helped me push was amazing. She was 38 weeks pregnant! Bless her heart. No one timed, but we think it was about an hour and 15 minutes that I pushed.

           

            THAT was a crazy experience. I was hardly aware of any coherent thoughts during that time, other than “I don’t think I can do this” and “I’m pretty sure I’m going to pop my eyes out of my head”. It was pretty frustrating to push, push, push and then have them say, “ok, keep him down on this next contraction”, which translated in my head to “that last push didn’t do it”. I remember between contractions just lying back on the bed and looking at my birth team around me, pleading with them with my eyes. I don’t know what I was pleading for, but I did say out loud to Alex at least once that I didn’t think I could do it. He assured me I could and told me I was the strongest woman he knew.

            I remember the last several pushes before he was really close, taking the deep breath before the push, bearing down and thinking that I wouldn’t be able to push – I was just going to have to skip this contraction, but somehow I was pushing. Finally the nurse called the doctor in and this is the most coherent I was during all of pushing, because all of a sudden there were 20 freaking people in my room, pushing stuff around and talking amongst themselves. Very clearly I thought, “THIS is why I wanted a home birth”. Just another day on the job for these people – only the biggest day of our lives. Alex was really affected by it, too. He said he heard two of the nurses talking like “oh, you HAVE to tell me where you got your hair done!” And two janitor guys coming in to move, like, one trash can. No worries – I’m just birthing a child here, my vagina out for everyone to see. No big deal.

            A few more pushes and all of a sudden I could feel him coming out. They kept telling me they could see the head, could see his blonde(!) hair. This part was so easy for me – it almost seemed like the doctor was doing all the work. Maybe it was just a huge rush of adrenaline but I don’t remember even getting the head out being half as hard as the pushes I had done before that. Then one more little push (I think, maybe the doctor sort of just wiggled him out – that’s kind of what it felt like) and there was my baby boy!

            Such a flood of emotions: relief, love, joy, pride! I looked up and there was Alex at my side, and we cried together as we looked at our precious little son. He was here, he was finally here and he was perfect. 

We're going to have a baby and stuff...

A few people have been asking me to do a pregnancy FAQ post, and since I haven't blogged in 6+ months I figure that is an okay place to start.

What was the reaction when you found out? Well, it was *quite* surprising. We had been off birth control for a year and a half and during that time we had "tried" off and on, I tracked ovulations and such but to no avail. The few months before we got pregnant we even began having conversations like "maybe we're just not ready... maybe we should go back on birth control".  The timing was really not the best, I had just started school with 15 credits, working full time. But now that the surprise is out of the way, I am so grateful for the timing because it means I won't have to be pregnant in the St. George summer, and that is good for all parties involved. I will be completely honest and say that the first week+ after finding out was mostly shock, but I remember one morning looking in the mirror and thinking "I'm finally going to be a mom" and remembering all the times we had wanted it so badly. And of course I cried. I do that a lot nowadays.

Dominant emotions thus far? Like I mentioned - shock. Then bliss... relief that there is "nothing wrong" with my body... excitement. I still see couples out with their kids and think "holy crap, that is going to be us soon." So I'd say another dominant emotion is "holy crap".

Symptoms? I had no symptoms that I thought to be pregnancy before one of my friends finally said I should test, just to be sure.  It was not uncommon for me to be late - I even skipped a cycle all together a few months before. The first thing I noticed was my boobs got HUGE, swollen and even hot to the touch.  I had no nausea until about week 10, and that lasted for about 5 weeks. I still haven't thrown up, although sometimes I think it might have made me feel better.

Any cravings? The only one I can think of as a "craving" would be lime. I loved me some cherry limeaids from Sonic for a few weeks. Other than that it was either "honey, go to Wendy's right now because a baked potato sounds like the *only* thing I can eat!" or I would go to eat something and it tasted like the best. food. ever. Happened with a sandwich first. I kept asking Alex "is this not the best sandwich you have ever had?!" He thought I was a little crazy.

Weight gain? Actually down 5+ pounds since my first 8-week visit. Pregnancy diet is the best because you never ever want to eat. My belly looks a lot bigger to me, but I haven't gained any weight. I can't wait to pop because I feel like I just look fat right now.

Movement? None yet. But it's only 4" right now, today I am 16 weeks.

Boy or girl? I truly don't care, but Alex is really hoping for/convinced it is a boy. He says they are easier. However, we have WAY more girl names than boy names on our list, so if it is a boy we will be in trouble. We will find out in about a month.

How does Alex feel about all this? He couldn't be happier. He was made to be a dad, and he will be so amazing. He has taken such good care of me, I couldn't ask for a better person to accompany me on this journey.

Things I've enjoyed the most so far? There is a human being growing inside of me. I have felt that the baby's spirit does not dwell in the womb through the whole pregnancy, but I have definitely felt it when it has been there. The only way I can describe it is a glowing feeling. The first time I felt it was when we were watching Walking Dead (haha! Sorry, baby, for that to be the first thing you were exposed to, but let's face it: zombies are awesome. We will teach you.)

Things we are looking forward to? A peaceful, natural home birth. Big cheeks to kiss and sometimes pinch. Waiting to see if he/she has Alex's dimples (please, oh please!)

"Empire Records, Open Til Midnight..."

This last week flew by in a blur of crazy.
Monday night we went over to Alex's parents house to help out his dad who is working on a new album! Phil is an incredibly talented musician and I really can't wait to hear all the songs, because the few I did hear rocked my socks off. And the new album will be featuring a bit of yours truly and all the other kids. Just some back-up stuff, but still! I had a ton of fun and it was super nice of Phil to involve us in his pure awesomeness. I'll let you know when the album is done!

Tuesday we had a super yummy dinner with our groovy friends, the Telfords. We sure think they are great, and their little boy is adorable.

Wednesday I watched 4 episodes of Vampire Diaries. And I liked it.

Thursday I had girls night with my homies and then went and purchased flowers for my backyard.

Friday was about the epic-est night I've had in quite a while. I spent pretty much all week preparing and planning. It's what we like to call "Incest Fest", and I know you're jealous.
Every Friday before conference my family gets together and has what we used to call "Adult Night", seeing as how we leave all the kiddos at home and have some fun night with just the adults. Well, every time we said something like "I'm so excited for Adult Night!", it sounded creepily like we were going to be shooting a porno, so we just bagged it all and went with "Incest Fest". Much better.
Annnnnnyway... it was my turn to host and I am pretty sure it rocked. We had an awesome dinner of baked penne, pizza factory breadsticks, baked asparagus and brussel sprouts and a strawberry lassi drink.
Then we played a series of Minute To Win It games, and I think more than one person in my family peed their pants. I should have sent out an "I'm sorry we're going to be so loud tonight" note to all my neighbors before hand. It was an absolute blast.

Needless to say I was quite exhausted come this morning, as I just could not sleep last week (and it doesn't look like I'll be kicking that anytime soon since it's 12:15 and I'm wide awake). I was up until 1:30 and 2:00 every day last week. Yuck.
BUT - thank goodness I had made plans with my mother-in-law to come over - I was able to get my tush in my backyard and plant some flowers! Gosh, I hope they do well and I don't kill them. I'll post pictures later. They are not much to look at right now... hope they get bigger!

Here's hoping I can get some sleep tonight.

Spring is in the Air!

I looooooooove spring! And I am NOT the type of person who adds vowels to words unless she reaaaaaly means it.
The weather has been gorgeous here and I cannot get enough of all the blossoms on the trees and the freshly planted flowers. Daffodils are the cutest little "happy" flower.

On that note, I did work my freakin tush off on Saturday. I felt like a zombie by the end of the day. We worked for hours in the backyard (p.s. I HATE flag stone. If ever you are thinking "flag stone would look nice here" - you are wrong, mister. Dead wrong. It is impossible to keep looking nice). I think we are all ready to plant pretty flowers this Saturday and I am so excited for that.
We got our fire pit / thingy in! Hurrah!! We've been trying to do it for months. It was so easy, really didn't take much time at all.
Don't mind the ugly, un-cared for flagstone.

We are going to have s'mores this weekend! Pictures to come of my soon-to-be-planted flowers up in those terraced spots behind the fire thingy.

Also, we saw Hunger Games over the weekend. It rocked my flippin socks off. I really thought they did an amazing job with it and I loved all the characters - especially Caesar. I pretty much love Stanley Tucci always.

Last weekend Alex's parents took us and the rest of his family to Zion for a night and we had a blast. It was beautiful on Friday and we hiked Observation Point. I am blown away by that place's beauty every single time I go. We don't usually make pricey purchases, but there is an art gallery up there that we really adore and the owner is super nice. You can see his work here.
We fell in love with this gorgeous vase and had to take it home. It is probably the most expensive accessory I have in my whole house :D It is so unique and I don't regret one penny of it.


I love decorating for spring - it is my second favorite, next to Halloween. I still have a few things to put up, but here is what I have so far:



My living room is slowly coming along, and with the recent purchase of this rug I finally feel like the colors are coming together. I am in love with it.


Guess what? I didn't get a killer bruise. No bruise at all. I would say my life is a total waste, but I am currently eating swirly gummy bears, and that somehow makes it all better. Bless you, gummy bears. You are my reason for living.

Happenings

I feel like such a loser always doing "what's been happening lately" posts... do you hate reading them? I just don't know what else to blog about, and I'm feeling bloggy tonight. Maybe it's the menstruation that's got me in the pensive mood (tmi? I don't care, my few readers are most likely girly friends)... (also, side note... I literally had to Google pensive because I kept trying to spell it pensieve like from Harry Potter. Yikes. Thank you, spell check.)

Now... where was I? Yes, menstruating pensiveness.

I don't know what I'm being pensive about. I just know that is the mood I am in. So pretend that my voice is all pensive-y, and I will try to stop using the word pensive. I've always liked that word. Even before Harry Potter skewed it in my brain.

Today I was a ninja at work - in a skirt - and no one even saw. I saved four 10' glass lamps from falling over by performing a graceful leap that sent my right chin colliding in to the base of an 18" thick steel base. I chipped my bright pink toenail polish and I limped for three hours. I BETTER have an awesome bruise. Is that not the worst, when you get a killer wound and then there is this dinky bruise?! I hate that.

Midterms are over with and afterwards I immediately felt the lethargy and apathy kick in. Literally the next day. I am now grateful that I can't take any classes during the summer.

We got our puppy groomed for the first time yesterday. When I got home I was pretty sure we were going to have to change his name - Joey? Steven? Bob? He looks SO different. But SO cute. I love him. Milestone for today: he scratched on the door until I let him out so he could poop. I was giddy with excitement.

In a few weeks I will be awarded 3 weeks paid vacation time from work. What do I do??? I really want to do a trip back east - New York, Washington, D.C., maybe church history. But I feel this dread coming over me that it will all just be wasted on sick days and leaving early on Fridays. Blech.

The last several weeks have been frustrating as we have tried to finish project after project to no avail. Alex was sick last week so we couldn't get anything done over spring break. My kitchen is STILL not finished, and now we are trying to get the backyard done before it gets flippin hot. The failures of the last few weeks have fueled my stubborn determination: this Saturday I will work all. day. long. Who's with me!?!? (please?)

Extraordinary

Yesterday my boss handed me a questionnaire for me to fill out and the first question perplexed me. I skipped it and filled out the easy ones - favorite candy, favorite movie, etc. All throughout the day I kept coming back to the question in my mind, trying to answer it and coming up short.
It was this: "What is your greatest recognition moment?" Basically, "what is your most extraordinary moment?"
I kept thinking to myself, "well, I've never done anything that great. What do I have to be proud of? I've lived in little ol' St. George most my life, got married and settled down, work full time. I never even backpacked across Europe like I always dreamed of."
So I was driving around, zoning, like you do (missed my turn, like I do), and my brain all of a sudden was flooded with extraordinariness! Now, before you start thinking this is quite the vainglorious blog entry, let me express the reason for it. As I started to list my cool accomplishements I realized that I'm posititve everyone has this type of list, you just don't see it! My cool-things list has just become a part of my past, and I don't realize how flippin awesome each thing is! How extraordinary they each are!
So, since you may be thinking "chya right, Jaylyn. You're not even that cool.", here is my evidence:

I jumped out of plane.
I have performed in front of hundreds of people, singing and acting, including a performance in Carnegie Hall!
I hiked Havasupai, and came out alive.
I learned how to drive a motorcycle, and one time I tipped over while I was out cruising and I PICKED.UP.A.MOTORCYCLE. True story.
I have hiked Angel's Landing (this is one of those that did not seem cool to me at all, but how many people worldwide can say this!?)
I witnessed the miracle of birth.
I helped organize and participated in an event to feed hundreds of needy people in our community.
I have loved deeply and had my heart broken.
I repelled from mountains and jumped from 50-foot cliffs in to cold water.
I bought a house.
I left the only home and family I had ever known and moved across the world to a place where I didn't know one person or the language.

I regularly sing at the top of my lungs, dance like a total crazy person, and I love my friends and family fiercely.

I feel like this is just the beginning of a freakin rad list that I will continue to compile throughout my life. I would highly recommend that you 5 people (love ya, by the way) who read my blog do this. It makes you feel like a rock star. I'll end with my favorite quote, which I know I've shared before but I'm pretty sure it can't be over-shared.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

You were BORN to be magnificent! And every one of you IS A ROCKSTAR!! The question is: do you see it?!

Lately...

Quick update on what is new with us:
-We are both going back to school, finally having pinned down which degrees we want to pursue. Alex is going for his bachelor's in psychology, and mine will be a computer technology degree with an emphasis in visual technology (basically graphic design).
-The holidays were wonderful - lots of time with family and friends. Alex participated in a Biggest Loser competition at my work so he did not enjoy any holiday food. I was awestruck at his restraint as he sat back and watched while we all gorged, and he happily sipped on his lemon/pepper water. Yuck. But he won the competition by losing 32 pounds. I am so proud! (P.S. who knew he had 30 lbs to lose?! When he told me that was his goal I was pretty sure he would have shrunk to mere bones by losing that much).
-We did get a new puppy. We are both sad and relieved to still think of Norman every day. In no way is Otis the "replacement", just a little brother. Having a brand new puppy is crazy and we find ourselves wanting to punch stuff sometimes, but then he looks up at us with his little teddy bear face and we melt. Until he pees on the floor...again.
-We still are teaching the 12-13 year olds at church, and they are so wonderful. We love being the cool teachers, and really all it takes is Alex making Yoda jokes and bringing treats every week. I wish it was that easy to make everyone in life like you.
-Work is great for both of us. Alex was awarded "Employee of the Month" for January at Rise, and it is no surprise. Everyone loves him at both of his jobs and he continues to excel in his line of work. I love the signage/marketing business and I think I will be in it for quite a while. I am excited to be pursuing a degree that can only help me advance at my current job, but also leave the opportunity to work from home, if possible, in the future.
-The house is slowly coming along, one room at a time. The kitchen is almost completed - the goal was this weekend, but that's not going to happen. It will be 80%, but I'm still excited about it. We'll get it to look how we want... by the time we are ready to buy a new house.
-Life is good, great, grand, and wonderful. We couldn't ask for better people in our lives, better jobs, or happier times together.

Until next time! Which will hopefully not be another 3 months...

Norman D. Theobald

On December 27th, 2011 we said goodbye to our furry bestie, Norman. We only had Norman for a short while, but he had become more a part of our family than I even thought possible. We adopted him from a family where he had obviously been abused and it took him a while to trust us, but that made us love him more. And I do believe it made him love us more when he did learn to trust us. He was the best dog ever. He was fun, snuggly, loyal, well-trained, unbelievably smart, and endearingly neurotic. We were constantly amazed at how intuitive he was and always grateful for his incredible behavior. We couldn't understand how anyone could ever even be angry with him.
Although my heart still aches for him, I am so glad that he got to be with a family who loved him unconditionally. We expressed our love and gratitude for him every day and I'm so glad for that.

We love you, Norman.

I'm Back

Recently I was scolded for not updating my blog, so here you go. I will not try to re-cap the last 3 months because... well, I have a really terrible memory and probably can't even remember most of it.
But pictures are always fun, so these are for you. The company I work for took all the employees AND their families on a cruise a few weeks ago. (Yes, you do work at the wrong place. I have the best job ever.) It was a blast and a fun little mini-vacation for Alex and me. I really am in love with vacations that just sneak up on me and require no planning on my part. And the love-odometer multiplies by a gajillion when it's free. In fact, I think we made money on the trip because I got paid for the week on top of it. (Yes, your bosses are nowhere close to as cool as mine.)

Catalina Island - of course we go to the playground.




Ensenada... the famous "blowhole". Really, it's not all that exciting, but kind of a cool phenomenon to witness (once). We were way more excited about the plateful of delectable tacos.



I am so grateful to work for awesome people who take care of their employees. And I know I said I wouldn't re-cap, but now that I'm writing I'm being flooded with things I'd like to tell you about. So I probably will.

Bathroom is DONE!!

After 11 long months of procrastination and busy-ness at least one room in our house is done! All I can say is that having a deadline makes all the difference. Enjoy!!

BEFORE


AFTER






One of the best parts about this project, aside from the fact that I am in love with it, is that the whole thing cost about $125! WOOT! I wish I could do all the rooms in my house for that much.

Randomies

Today my alarm went off and I didn't feel well. So I decided to treat myself with a day off work. Slept in until 10:30, had some food, and then went.... what do I do now??? I am so unimaginative when it comes to days off. Most of the time I just end up going to work in the afternoon because I get bored. Not today! Sticking it out this time. I have watched an episode of Prison Break, played with my dog, crafted, moseyed around the house and looked for interesting things on the internet. I know you're jealous.

I am Mtn Dew sober for almost two whole days. It feels good, peeps. Yesterday was a killer, but today has been better. Possibly simply because I slept for 12+ hours so didn't need the caffeine. Pray for me tomorrow.

I really need to stop reading feminist slash so-called "blind obedient Mormon" literature. It just really gets my blood boiling. But then I just feel grateful that I don't have those challenges of faith in my life. But mostly my blood boils.

On a related note, I am super bummed the temple is closed this week and next. We've been going often lately and when it is closed I sort of feel a void.

On a completely unrelated note - I hate it when people say "unrelentless". Or cannot possibly spell the word "definitely". Or just don't take the time to use spell check when they are posting something for everyone to see.

We had a delightful evening with Alex's grandma last night which included a 5-course "supper" :) and Indiana Jones.

The End.

More Musings on Faith

I feel like I'm getting closer to understanding what this whole faith thing is all about :) Thank you so much for all your comments, I loved them all! But I CAN'T stop thinking about blind obedience vs faith. It's all I could think of in the temple on Friday, and all I thought about all day in church. And I keep bugging everyone I know to talk to me about it, because, well... I'm a girl and that's how we figure things out!

I think the thing that has been agitating me the most is that I, for the life of me, cannot understand what people view as blind obedience. I keep running circles in my head when I think about it. It goes something like this:

"Ok, so blind obedience means that we just obey, not really knowing why. BUT - I know in my experience that even when I start out obeying a law/principle without having a testimony of it, once I start living it, it's quite impossible for me to avoid gaining a testimony of it. So, it may be blind obedience in the beginning, but it turns into something else.."

OR

"Blind obedience means that we just accept things without questioning them or studying it out. BUT - how does that coincide with having a "child-like" faith? Should people be condemned (or called a B.O.ite) simply because they don't NEED to study things out? 1 Cor 12:8-10 lists "gifts of the spirit" - one of which is faith. I think all of us know at least one person who "just knows" things. Their gift of the spirit is faith. They don't need to study it out, they don't need to figure it out logically to know of a surety that it is true. That's just simple and pure faith, right? Not blind obedience..."

So - does blind obedience even exist?? Because of the simple act of OBEYING, is that not a show of FAITH?

The latest conclusion that I have come to is that blind obedience has simply to do with intention. If you really and truly, down to your core, do something JUST because you are told. You have no intention of receiving a blessing from it, you do not ever take the time to see how it is helping you in your life, you never even give the act a second thought past just doing it. This has been hard for me to think about, because I've never known anyone in my life who acts like this.
However, this cannot be the basis of judgement for being blindly obedient, because no other person on the planet has the ability to know your intentions besides you.

*sigh* I'm feeling pretty good about this conclusion, feeling finally a little peace about understanding at least what people mean by blind obedience (even if I don't agree with the unjust label), and then I pick up page 1 of Lectures on Faith:

"If men were to...turn their thoughts and reflections to the operations of their own minds, they would readily discover that it is FAITH, AND FAITH ONLY, which is the moving cause of ALL action in them."

Whoa.
Tell me what this says to you. Please. Because to me it says that ANYTIME we are EVER moved to action, it is because of faith. Therefore, blind obedience does not exist. (?) Do you interpret it differently? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts! I am learning so much about this topic, and about myself, and I really appreciate you helping me :)

Red Velvet Cupcakes

I. Love. Baking.
Even after a super long day when I'm really tired, I have so much fun baking. I don't know if this will be interesting to anyone, at all, BUT I had fun doing it so I wanted to share this recipe and the photos I took while making these awesome cupcakes!

Red Velvet Cupcakes

2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour - sift it before you measure it.
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
2 oz. red food coloring (two bottles) (this is a lot of coloring, but it’s worth it! The color is gorgeous!!)
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sift together the cake flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl; set aside. In a small bowl, mix food coloring and cocoa powder to form a thin paste without lumps; set aside. (I love this part :) Put the cocoa in the bowl first, and watch how cool it is when you pour the coloring over it!)

In a large bowl, using a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about two minutes.

Beat in eggs, one at a time, then beat in vanilla (my Mexican vanilla! This souvenir is alone worth the trip!) and the red cocoa paste, scraping down the bowl with a spatula as you go.
Add one third of the flour mixture to the butter mixture, beat well, then beat in half of the buttermilk. Beat in another third of flour mixture, then second half of buttermilk. End with the last third of the flour mixture, beat until well combined, making sure to scrape down the bowl with a spatula.

In a small bowl, mix vinegar and baking soda. Be careful - it will fizz up. (I tried to get a good picture of the fizz - it didn't work. Also, I used WAY too gigantic of a bowl for this. Don't be dumb like me.)

Add vinegar mixture to the cake batter and stir well to combine. Using an ice cream scoop, fill cupcake cups with cake batter (they should be 3/4 full).
Place muffin tins on the middle rack of a preheated 350 degree oven. Bake for approximately 20-22 minutes, rotating pans halfway through. (I like to clean up my kitchen during the baking. RESIST the temptation to sit down! Because there is nothing as awesome as fresh baked goods AND a clean kitchen, at the same time!)
Cupcakes are done when a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Check early and don't overbake. (Mine only took 18-19 minutes)

Cool the cupcakes in their tins on a wire rack for 10 minutes then remove and allow to cool completely before frosting. Frost cupcakes with cream cheese icing - recipe below.

Cream Cheese Frosting

16 oz. cream cheese (2 packages), softened
1/2 cup unsalted butter (one stick), softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
pinch of salt

With an electric mixer, blend together cream cheese and butter until smooth. Turn mixer to low speed and blend in powdered sugar, salt and vanilla extract. Turn mixer on high and beat until light and fluffy. Use immediately or refrigerate, covered, until ready to use. If refrigerated, the frosting will need to be brought to room temperature before using (after frosting softens up, beat with mixer until smooth)

There you go, hope you love the recipe like I do - it's one of my favorites.

Random tidbit from the day: our super duper cute dog, Norman LOVES scratches/rubs. Sometimes when you won't rub him, he'll go down to your feet and push himself up against them to get you to scratch him with your feet. Today he went down by my foot, stood underneath it and for several seconds moved his butt back and forth, scratching himself on it. I died. I am basically in love with that dog.
Also - best music from the 2-hour kitchen dance party: Ke$ha, Will Smith and Da Dip by...who knows? Also, Linda Eder once things started to slow down. If you've never heard her, prepare for an awesomeness comparable to a kick in the face. An awesome kick. (You can skip to 2:00 if you don't want to listen to the whole song. And you will still be kicked.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWP7l0OTXJI

Blindness - Good or Bad?

Several months ago I read someone accusing Mormons of being "blindly obedient" (which I will sometimes refer to as b.o. - just because I think it's funny), and this was not meant as compliment. I've read many publications and opinions that share this sentiment; people see Mormons as people who don't ever question anything and just go along with what they're told, not knowing why.
I can't stop thinking about this, mulling it over in my little brain over and over.
So here is the $25k question:
What is the difference between blind obedience and faith?
Is there a difference?

When I think of "blind" faith, I think of Adam when he was cast out of the Garden of Eden. He built an altar and offered sacrifices, and when he was asked why he humbly said, "I know not, save the Lord commanded me." Would this be considered by these same people as b.o.?
Because isn't this essentially what we do, as Latter-day Saints, on a daily basis?
Why do we visit/home teach?
Why is it so important to keep the Word of Wisdom?
Why do we have family home evening?
Sure, there are the Sunday School answers to these questions, but if someone really grilled me about the reasons, and they weren't satisfied with my SS answers, I would say to them: because the Lord commands it. And that is good enough for me.
So does that make me a b.o-ite? Hehe :)

For me, the difference between b.o. and faith is that I know I will be blessed for keeping the commandments, no matter what that command is. If I'm commanded to not wear the color red for the rest of my life, I would KNOW that by following this commandment I would be blessed. I would KNOW that God expects it of me for my own benefit, and for my greater good. And without knowing WHY, in any shape or form, God asked it of me, I would know that it is because He loves me and wants the best for me. Is THIS what people see as b.o.? So what is their definition of faith?

I'd really love your input on this.
Have you ever been accused of being blindly obedient? If so, how did you respond?
How do you think faith is different than blind obedience?

KITCHEN REMODEL = SUCKING

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've blogged, and I have no excuse other than I feel like I never have interesting to blog about. So I'm just going to pretend like we're still friends and you still want to read my blog sometimes. Yay!
So, as you can tell from the aforementioned kitchen remodeling, I'm a little frustrated. When I was envisioning all my home decor, I was really feeling retro-y. THIS is what I was going for in my kitchen.


But it turned out looking more like a bad piece of Anasazi Indian art. I really just hate it, more and more by the day. I really despise the thought of having to paint the whole wall again - even though I didn't even do it in the first place (thanks, In-Laws). Just, painting is hard work and it takes forever. But it will be worth it to have a kitchen that doesn't make me cringe whenever I walk in to it.
So - now, what color? I've been agonizing over it for weeks. I'm torn between trying a really light turquoise like this:


OR
a light green like this:


I'm really leaning towards the green, because I feel like I can do a lot more "vintage" accessories, and it seems like there is so much more freedom that way. With the turquoise I feel it's a lot more retro, and I think that's part of the reason it doesn't work in my kitchen - it really clashes with my wood floors.
I'm jazzed about going vintage, because I can put anything up on the walls, and it goes. Old frames, keys, mason jars for lights, random junk I find at garage sales. I just think it will be a lot more versatile.
So, what do you think? Thanks for any input :)

RAW!

In January Alex and I did a “raw” diet for a week and we really liked it so we wanted to try it again.
Today is day three and it has been quite the adventure so far.

Day one:
Morning went well but it was all downhill after that. I got SO hungry during church and when I got home I was just pissed. I shouldn’t be this hungry!! I don’t really remember the steps that I took to get to this point, but before I knew what I was doing I had cold leftover steak in my bare hands and it was half-eaten. It was not amusing at all in the moment, but I get a good chuckle out of it now, thinking what I must have looked like: crazed cave woman, mumbling about the ridiculousness of being starved. That night we had family dinner and I was proud of myself for just having a salad... and then my brother walked in with banana splits. Seriously?! Splits are one of my favorite things on the planet. I sat there looking at everyone and getting more and more angry that I couldn’t have any!! So.. yes, I had some. And, yes, it was delicious and made me very happy.
Raw status of the day: 50%

Day two:
Most of the day went very well. We were starved for a good part of it, but where we really hit the wall this day was wanting to get out and do something on our day off, and all we could think of was food! When we want to go out and have some fun, we go get pretzels.. go get Orange Peel.. go get dessert. Isn’t it crazy how much our lives revolve around food?! We did well for most of the day, but we gave in and went to Winger’s for dinner. I restrained myself and did not get the asphalt pie, which I see as a huge feat.
Highlight of the day: eating cherry tomatoes and strawberries straight from the ground at the greenhouse.
Raw status of the day: 70%

Day three:
So far, my hunger has been a lot better. It helps to be at work and not sit around and think about food all day. I’m drinking a lot more water, which helps as well. The worst part has been the caffeine headache. It’s been going strong for about 3 hours now. Only seems to be getting worse. The day is more than half over and I am 100% raw so far! Girls night tonight, let’s hope I can stay strong!!

Lots of Happenings Lately...

Holy cow, so much has happened in the last few weeks and I simply have not had time to blog about it all! So we’ll play a little catch-up today.


Easter Sunday we found out that my sweet, sweet Grandma Palmer left this earth to be with her eternal companion again. We were planning on going up north that weekend anyway for wedding stuff, so we went one day earlier to attend her funeral. It was a wonderful memorial and it was so fun to see so much of my family. I was SO moved by the amazing legacy this woman left. She has over 80 grandchildren, over 65 great grandchildren and even a few great-great grandchildren! And she has touched every single on of their lives with her sweet spirit. I was especially moved to be part of a choir that sang a song in her memory, as she was the one who instilled in so many of us a love of music.

The rest of the weekend was filled with lots of fun family and friends time. We love getting to spend time with our super fun friends, Jake and Kelli Brandon. Jake was Alex’s MTC companion and Alex has some crazy stories about their experiences together.

The main event of the weekend was attending the temple with Alex’s family as his sister attended the temple for the first time. We had never been to the Salt Lake temple before and it was awesome! Definitely different than the other temples we’ve been to, and that’s cool!

Then this last week was just a whirlwind! I feel like it went by so fast and I was exhausted the whole time! We made a goal to finish our freaking cabinets that have been 5+ months in the making by Wednesday, when I was hosting Bunco. So we were planning on doing a big chunk of it on Monday but then my family wanted to have a preparedness meeting so we couldn’t do it that night. So we literally screwed in the last door as the doorbell rang for the first of the bunco girls on Wednesday. But we finished!!! HUZZAH!! I love how they turned out, but I’m not so sure about how they look with the blue wall.





My original thought was a bright turquoise with a bright red, but the turquoise turned out more blue than I planned and the red turned out darker than I expected, so now it just looks Mexican-y. And that is NOT what I was going for. I’m seriously considering re-painting the wall, cuz there is NO way we are re-doing the cabinets!! Any comments/suggestions would be mucho appreciated!

In addition to all that, I had the opportunity to do Alex’s sister’s wedding book so every spare moment last week was spent doing that. I’m really pleased with how it turned out and I will try to get some pictures up here of some of my favorite pages. Poll # 2 of the post: do you think a wedding book is something that people would pay someone to do? I’m considering starting a little business with it because I sure love doing it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s basically a collection of scrapbook pages that you use as your guest registry instead of the boring old “write your name”. It’s super fun and Alex and I still look through ours all the time.

Then this last weekend was filled to the brim with wedding! It was all absolutely gorgeous, due to my amazing mother-in-law. I sure love attending sealings and remembering how blessed we are to have the covenants we do and the wonderful blessings that come with them. The church is true, everyone! Just in case you were wondering :)

Don't forget to comment with your thoughts on the blue wall and the wedding book idea! THANKS!!

I Heart Antibiotics

I am having a love affair with my antibiotics.

On Tuesday I woke up with a little swollen tonsil but just started repeating positive affirmations to ward off a cold like I usually do. It kept persisting through the day and that night I was having trouble sleeping because it had gotten so bad. Finally I woke clear up and thought to myself: “self, I think we have strep throat”. You see, I know what this feels like because I had strep throat almost exactly a year ago! Ugh.

I woke up, went and looked at my tonsils and knew immediately. If you’ve ever seen tonsils with strep, you know there’s no mistaking. It looks like this: (look away, faint of heart.. and faint of butt... Props if you know what that is from.)



So... don’t tell my doctor, but I had a few of the antibiotics left over from last time and I took one of those in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning. Strep is probably the worst sickness/pain that I’ve ever had. It is so sucky I can’t even describe it. Can’t swallow without it hurting my entire body, feel like I’m going to hurl and having nightmares about how intensely painful that would be on my throat, aches all over, fever. Worst. Ever. I am SO – SO glad I had the old antibiotics because I started feeling better by that afternoon, right around the time I had gotten my new prescription filled. So I would’ve been insanely miserable for another 12 ish hours had I not had the old antibiotics. Yay for cheating on stuff!

Moving on from that epic story about sickies, life is grand now! I feel almost 100% better today and I am in love with antibiotics. Can you imagine getting strep or something like it in the early 19th century? If it would’ve happened to me I think there would have been two options:
a – I would have died.
2 – I would have killed myself because of the pain.
Either way I would’ve died.

Today I am full of gratitude for the modern medicine that I do believe in (which is, to be truthful, a slim category). It is a lovely day out and I’m glad I get to enjoy it and the awesome weekend that lies ahead!

We Got a Puppy!

We have been wanting a puppy for a long time but they are sooo expensive and we couldn't justify spending several hundred dollars for the breed we wanted. So last week I was just looking around on Craigslist and found this little guy! He is a Maltese.


I e-mailed the lady to see if he was still available and the more I found out about him, the more perfect for us he sounded.
We got him Sunday night and we've been loving getting to know him!


Sometimes he tries to eat our faces...
Just kidding :) He was just yawning.



He is super cute and loves to cuddle and be rubbed.



We are so glad he is part of our family!
We still haven't decided on a name...
First he was Archibald, and then he was Fred. And then he was Winston. I still like Winston but Alex doesn't. We're also tossing around Nigel, Gunther and Terrance.
Hopefully we decide soon! I'm sure he's getting quite confused as to why we are calling him all these different names.